Shaphirah’s Birth Story –
My Birth Team:
Co Baby maker/Support: Paul Fancher😉
Midwife: Melēna Sandifer of Cherished Birth
Doula: Colleen Shulenberger of A Sacred Nest
Birth Photographer: Kali Shanti Park of Mama Matters: Complete Doula Care & Birth Photography
Birth Assistant: Katherine Stanglin – Doula
Pre-Birth Massage Therapist: Laura Barton of Mercy Touch-Laura Barton, LMT, CPMT
Favorite essential oils and natural baby products I used during birth and post partum in the first week:
PREFACE: Just ignore the ” Left, Center, Right, Remove caption” under the photos… I pulled the photos from FB and can’t get that part to go away!”
The Scene: Our home.
This was start of my best birthing time (yet). I had stayed up till midnight cleaning the kitchen the night before, like I had been doing for the last 2 weeks. I felt like there were certain things that needed to be clean-and THEN I could sleep peacefully.
I had joked that if I ate some of the chocolate cake at my brother’s birthday celebration (at my house with my big family) Shaphirah might just decide to come. My Papa (dad) asked me when I thought she was coming…and so did my Mama. Funny thing it was the next day 😉
But back to the story. Where were we? Oh yes. Sunday morning.
Church. 3 kids running in and out of the kitchen, while I’m trying to get breakfast together-and I felt the “I need my own space” coming on. It was calm, but like holding your breathe-where I really REALLY just wanted all the kids to be quiet. Breakfast came, I let Paul know I had started to have birth waves-and that if they kept coming I wouldn’t be going to church with them.
This is an odd thing for me cause we don’t “skip church” unless we are like dying…or having a baby 😛
That of course put my husband Paul into a slightly on edge “oh we are getting somewhere” reaction-and I got everyone’s shoes on and them out the door. I told him to drop them off at bible class, tell my parents he may not be back, and come back.
Insert the BEST and most blissfully calm part of my day. Honestly I feel like the 20 minute break from ANY distraction helped me thru the whole birth.
I grabbed my Savvy Minerals makeup (which I just feel pretty and good when I get to play with it), put MKTO on Pandora on my phone, and rocked out in the bathroom while I put on makeup slowly. I did everything. Brushed my hair, put on Valor on my bump, back, and Peace & Calming on me (hello emotions!) put all the good stuff on my face-and just felt put together. It was awesome.
Birth waves where coming, pretty consistently, but they weren’t really intense like I usually have in birthing time.
Paul got back-and as I got ready for the day-he started prepping the house. We contacted our doula, Colleen S. and she started prepping to head our way. Then my. Birth photographer Kali Park and midwife Melena were contacted-and we let everyone know that I was having consistent birth waves, some at 6 minutes apart. Since they were not intense really at all, Melena told me I could stop tracking them for an hour or until they picked up.
Honestly I didn’t stop. (Sorry Melena 😉
I kept tracking-and they got all over the place. I would have them at 15 minutes, then 8, then 12, then 6….there was little rhyme to the patterns for a while.
Around noon-1pm (I can’t remember when exactly) Kali came. Colleen was braiding my hair, which I LOVED because then it was out of my face. She was a rockstar in making me feel totally loved emotionally validated. Her touch is soothing, and she knew just what to say or ask. I was working thru birth waves, but again they just weren’t the same intense…but I could tell we were getting somewhere.
It was then I realized I didn’t know if Melena was on her way- I thought Paul had called her, and he hadn’t…he thought I had….so we quickly fixed that and let her know she could head over 😉
I was in my room, with a birth ball that Kali had graciously ran to Wal-mart to grab (yes. It’s a MUST have in birthing time!) and I was “in my zone”.
Then it hit me and I threw up. My legs where shaking slightly, and my energy just tanked. Completely. Melena walked in, and was quiet and let me do my thing. A few minutes went by, as my body worked thru a birth wave. She noticed I had no energy, and got me a packet of Ningxia red. I took it, and within a minute or so I headed to the bathroom and asked Paul to come in there with me. I had 2 strong birth waves-the strongest of the whole birth-and I threw up twice. As we went back to the birth ball, I told Paul “It’s weird-it’s almost like I’m in transition… because that is the only time I throw up…”
He looked at me with this “Duh-I KNOW” face and I laughed.
I really wasn’t quite sure if we were really there-since I wasn’t feeling really intense birth waves. Except for the 2 I just had ;))
After a few minutes, Melena asked how many waves I had had in the last half hour. “Umm…2?” I replied.
So that’s like, ….nothing in “real birth time”. I mean, theoretically, there would be several in half an hour. So then, I had what everyone assumed was birth waves, for at least 10 minutes.
Kali was picture ready, Colleen was sitting on the bed stroking my arm, and Paul my husband was talking to me and telling me how amazing I was doing. I had my eyes closed-breathing slowly and calmly….
After a good long while, I finally looked up and said “you know-it’s weird….I’m not really feeling them.”
“Wait?!” Someone responded…. “You mean your not having birth waves?” “Do you just like the attention???”
“Well-yes….” I replied sheepishly. “I mean, it feels really good….” Insert everyone but my midwife leaving the room 😉
It was pretty funny. Melena said “Okay, I’m gonna check you and see where we are.”
I said okay-and as she checked, the room was really quiet…and then her eyebrows went up and she said “ohh!”
I was praying- “Lord, PLEASE let me be at least a 5. A 5 would be great….that would be at least halfway…”
“So how far are we?” I asked, holding my breathe emotionally. “Well, your at a 9.” Melena said matter of factly.
Ohh. A 9. That’s like push the baby out stage. Whoa.
“Oh! So-wow. So we are about to have a baby!” I said.
She left the room, and I had a minute to myself. It is the weirdest feeling to not be in pain, and know your at the end of birth. I looked down at my bump, realized I was going to miss it-but also excited to meet my baby girl. I grabbed my phone-texted a friend a photo of me with a super excited face-and tried to let it sink in that we were about to have a baby HERE. Paul came in, grabbed something in the bathroom, and I asked “Soo-did Melena tell you where we are?” “Uh, no-what’s up?” He said. “We are at a 9.” I said-a smile in my eyes.
He came to sit down beside me-and I asked “Will you take a photo with me? I mean-we have never had time to actually do this!”
I was sitting at the end of our bed, and realized I had a short time frame to decide WHERE to birth. I had a birth wave, and asked him “Is the birth pool ready?” “Ohh, almost…you can go in there.” “No-is it READY?” I asked…I needed it ready to go in. At this point Colleen came in, and could tell what I needed. She got me up, and said “Okay, let’s go!”
And we went to the living room. I realized once I got off the bed and didn’t have the pressure of sitting down that things where going to move quickly. I sunk into the birth pool, and quickly got into my “zone”.
I was completely quiet (a first for me) and after one mild but firm birth wave, her head crowned. It was the weirdest feeling-because I felt some pressure and then all the sudden everything “opened” and her head descended. I could tell her head was birthed, and I could feel her, and Melena said “Okay, with the next wave, go ahead and push her out”.
Then my body didn’t react. You know that feeling when you KNOW something is supposed to happen and nothing does? It’s that odd-the-world-stops-moving-feeling, and that’s what I was feeling. I realized I didn’t need to push AGAINST my body (like make myself push down) and I felt like that would not be a good thing to do… and then Melena said again “Okay, go ahead and push with the next wave”.
It was then I realized I needed to get her out. I didn’t know why-it was a calm but firm need. I said “I’m not feeling anything” and I don’t think I voiced it but my voice must have communicated “I NEED HELP” because that’s what I was thinking and voicing in my head.
Melena reached down, put her hand in, and firmly pulled-and I pushed down at the same time. Shaphirah’s body came, thank the Lord-and she was here.
I looked down, and saw her umbilical cord wrapped tightly around her little neck. Twice. Melena swiftly unwrapped it, and it was a moment of quiet as we waited. She cried, breathed, and it was a relief.
I really didn’t realize how scary it was until a few days after birth.
Come to find out, (skipping ahead) my placenta detached early-all the keep from suffocating her. I am so so thankful God created my body to do what it needed to-and that my midwife was calm and did not give me any reason to panic.
Those first few minutes-the moments of a brand new baby is magicial. It’s truly a gift from God.
I still hemmoragged-but this time I didn’t mind because I know it was a trade for having my baby here safely. It was also different than my others, and Melena helped me get what my body needed. It was the BEST “after birth” experience I’ve had….though with my uterus actually contracting like it’s made to do (which it’s never done correctly before), the “afterbith” pains where just awful. That and the fundal massage….that was worse pain than the birth by FAR.
I never thought I would have an almost “painless” birth experience-but I can say the emotional outcome is incredible. That, coupled with Shaphirah being a total champ at nursing…man. It’s been so so good.
Paul got to cut her cord after it stopped pulsing (delayed cord cutting)
and my Mama brought Kyra and Noriah to come meet their sister before church. Shaphirah was just an hour old-and the girls were so excited!!
I got an IV of fluids and a ton of juice and water in my system, and that helped the bleeding. I still couldn’t get up, because when I tried I almost passed out. In fact, I DID pass out the one time I got to the bathroom-which I have no memory of. That is SO weird and the first birthing time I passed out in.
While I was getting attention from my birth team, Paul got to bond with our newest daughter.
Next up was all the stats-weighing, and measuring how big she was.
I was surprised to hear that she was 8.14-the same as her sister Kyra, and bigger than I thought! Her body was more curly so I thought she would be smaller but she wasn’t.
Her head was 13.5 inches though-which made sense why it was so much easier than her brother’s 15 inches head.
She was 21 inches long-and has grown quickly since then at 2 inches growth by her 3 week appointment!
Then Laura Barton of Mercy Touch massage came to do bodywork on little miss. It was amazing to watch her work with Shaphirah’s tiny body-to relax her muscles and get her body lined up. I asked how she was, and as Laura explained she was really pretty good…except for a few small areas, that included her throat being tight…. “Well, did Melena tell you? The cord was wrapped around her neck twice.” I said. “Oh wow!” She replied.
She was totally relaxed!!!
I was surprised and impressed that she could tell something was up, just from working with her body.
Little miss got her own little photoshoot-which made me smile.
And then I got my turn with little miss. BEST feeling ever.
The hard part? Afterbirth pains. Used lots of Cool Azul Pain relief cream for that. And EO’s for my stomach to feel calm.
Was so so thankful to have them-cause it’s no joke.
Also being “down”. It is both incredibly hard and a blessing to be told I can’t get up for a week, and then I can’t do normal housework and mommy stuff the following week.
That is something I never did with my other births-and Melena was very firm about it. I’m glad she was (even though I really hate being told to do things I don’t want to 😛 ) because it made me a better outcome.
Katherine Stanglin (Melena’s assistant and my doula with Noriah’s birth) got there a few minutes after she was born-she was bummed to miss the action but I was glad she got to come and make sure I was okay! She helped me stay still and not overdo it trying to get up.
My birth team rocked-it was honestly my FAVORITE team of all so far.
I felt completely emotionally calm-supported-loved-I mean, it was an experience I would do all over again.
Except the afterbirth 😉 I would skip that. 😛
Big brother Kidron got to come see her after church, around 9:30pm…and he liked her.
And that’s a wrap of our birth of little miss Shaphirah Kaye <3 We are so thankful she is here, and now a month old!